


Not what I meant when I said chill

by angstyauthor (wedontwritelemons)



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Aftermath, Angst, Aw sad, Jenna Rolan Needs Love, Mild Angst, Mom Friend Christine Canigula, Oneshot, Pining Jeremy Heere, Post-Canon, Rich Goranski & Jeremy Heere Friendship, Soft Rich Goranski, but you aren't sobbing, like you read it and go, michael had every right to be sad, post cannon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-27
Updated: 2020-03-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:13:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23337439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wedontwritelemons/pseuds/angstyauthor
Summary: Jeremy would rather his life before the squip, because before the squip at least he had Micheal.
Relationships: Jake Dillinger/Rich Goranski, Jeremy Heere/Michael Mell
Comments: 1
Kudos: 39





	Not what I meant when I said chill

Four months.

It had been four months since the play, four months since the squipcident, four months since the super computer in my brain had been active.

I looked over at Rich, who was sitting on the sofa next to me doing homework.

After both our squips got shut down we realized we actually had a lot in common. We did when we were squiped, but that's because we were both forced to be perfect, pleasant, popular peers. But just as ourselves, we were pretty similar to. We grew close when the rest of the school shut us out. Or at least the people who mattered to us.

I turned my attention back to my math homework, now that the squip was no longer here feeding my answers my A+ average was a C-.

”You talked to Christine recently?” Rich mumbled, bearly looking up from his notes.

”Yeah, she's just been really busy with play”

Christine and I went on five dates before deciding we were better off as friends. It felt weird. Like dating a sister if I ever had one. Rich, her and I formed a mini friend group after the squipcident when everyone else left us. Last time I had talked to Chris was last week, when she asked why I wasn’t into theater anymore.

_”Well, after the last show, things didn’t really go great and the whole experience left a kinda bad taste in my mouth you know?” I tried to explain._

_”Yeah I get it. That wasn’t my finest performance either. I still don’t understand what prompted me to do ecstasy that night.”_

_I swallow harshly, debating my options. I might regret this. “Actually Chris? You didn't take ecstasy.”_

_No going back now._

_”What do you mean?” Christine asked. She sounded like she didn’t believe me and was messing with me._

_”You remember how I tried to get you to take that pill before the show? The squip?”_

_”And I said no.”_

_”Yeah.” I nod. “Well I had taken the pill about a month or two before the show. My squip was the one who told me to convince you to take it. When you said no it kinda knocked some sense into me. I realized everything the squip was trying to do and- it was bad. But it was also too late.”_

_”So you're telling me you brain parasite hacked all our brains? And that's why I don’t remember the play but the footage I’ve seen is a total disaster?”_

_”If you wanna phrase it that way.”_

_”Oh.”_

_”Sorry I didn’t tell you. I really am.”_

_”No, I can understand why you couldn't. Does Rich know?”_

_”Rich had a squip too. He is the reason I got one, except mine took over the school when I realized it was bad, where as Rich realized it was bad and tried to kill himself by burning down a house.”_

_”Jesus christ.” Christine murmurs, recalling the events of halloween._

”I still can’t believe you told her about the squips without me.” Rich said bringing me back to the real world.

”Yeah but you told Jenna without me.”

”I guess.

Jenna was the only other person who remained one hundred percent neutral after the squipcedent. She bounced between friend groups, babbling to Brooke and Chloe, messing around with Rich and Christine and I, rolling Jake around in his wheelchair, and even getting pretty close with Michael. I wasn't there when Rich told Jenna about the squips, but she vowed not to post about it and continued treating us the same.

”Have you talked to Jake?” I asked putting down my math and turning to face Rich.

”I mean, yeah but- it's not the same ya know? I know Jakey D doesn't care about popularity so that's not why he’s acting weird, he just doesn't trust me the same.” Rich explained. “Not that I can blame him, I’m the reason his house burnt down and the reason he’s in a wheelchair. It's awkward.”

I nod. “I get it.”

After the play I apologized to Michael for a week straight until he told me he just needed time to process. A month after he came over and said he forgave me, but three months later I never forgave myself. I was a terrible friend and totally deserve having to rebuild Michaels trust. But I missed what we used to have, even though I’m the reason we don't have it anymore.

”Hey tall ass, don't beat yourself up for what you squip did.” Rich said like he was listening right into my head. “Mikey forgives you and that's a huge start. He knows it wasn't your fault. Move on and work on building up his trust again. Twelve year old friendships don't fade just like that okay?”

”Right.”

I look at the date on my phone. It's friday. I would normally be with Michael, in his basement getting stoned.

”Lets go to seven eleven and get some snacks, your dad won't be home until late right? We can watch a couple movies.”RIch said getting up.

But I’m not with Michael.

”Just no Keanu Reeves or Muppets. That actually gets rid of a lot of options though.” Rich mumbled.

I’m with Rich.

”Hey tall-ass don't get lost in that head of yours or I’m making you pay for snacks.”

And I’m gonna make every second count.

”No way dude, you buy out the store on your own.” I laugh slipping on my cardigan.

”Ah, welcome back to reality Jerry. Population, us. As some other people but were the cool ones.” Rich said, nudging me. After the play we always joke about being cool even without the squips.”

’But you're not Jeremy. You need me.’

The squips presence never fully went away, but it was just another voice in my head. I had Rich, Christine, Jenna, and Michael (well, I'm trying with that one), and they’re all I need to be the coolest me.

’You're lying to yourself.’

”Shut it tic tac.” I mumble.

”You tell em tall ass.” Rich cheers not even questioning me. We both hear our squips every once and awhile and are just used to each other's random outbursts while talking to the super computers.

Rich goes on another ramble about what slushy flavor he will be getting and I let myself slip into my thoughts once again.


End file.
